Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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