i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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