so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I did not marry a roomba.
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