just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize