so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
