Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
