I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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