Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
