Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize