People in love make me want to vomit
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
