is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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