You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
