If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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