he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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