Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
