Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
