There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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