Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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