I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize