If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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