Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
