You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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