I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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