Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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