Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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