you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize