my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
