I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
