I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
