can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
