FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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