yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
