if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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