so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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