I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
