I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
