I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
