u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Alive.
So much puke
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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