No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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