Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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