he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
