my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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