Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
