Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
