She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
