Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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