i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
