was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
