i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize