Kareoke will never be a sober sport
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
