can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
