Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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