is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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