Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
