K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
