i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
