there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
