But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
