She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
