i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
