I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
