We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The feeling are messing with the penis
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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