Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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