Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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