I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
