Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just made my gag reflex go away.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
