i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
