There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
