Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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