butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
