She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
