Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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