check it out our google latitudes are spooning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
