Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize